Here In Your Arms
by nicolasamaria
Summary: In that moment he's not Puck, he's someone new who she's never met before." Original PR one shot that "It's Up to You" was based off of. -ch. 2 reupdated-
1. Part 1

Author's Note: So, I'm kind of in awe. I can't believe I finished this, it's been three months in the making and it's finally DONE! Thank you to Rachel, who was along for the ride and kept me from going off the deep end numerous times. And to my beta for making one little suggestion that made everything perfect. I will say that I'm sorry for the girl in me taking over in the last part of this, I was feeling romantic, if you can't tell.

**As I said in the summary, this is the original one shot that It's Up to You was based off of (for those of you who have read that). So, there will be A LOT of similarities in the beginning. Like, I'm pretty sure the entire first part is exactly the same.**

This is my masterpiece and if you hate it ... then please don't tell me because it will definitely make me cry. But, if you dig it then drop me a review ... or something.

Enjoy!

-Nicole.

* * *

_I like where we are, when drive in your car._

_I like where we are, here._

– – – –

It starts on a Friday.

She's not sure why she does it.

He's still the boy who used to throw ice cold slushies in her face and tells her that she's mentally retarded all the time. She's still the girl who told him that he has the mental capacity of a rodent and convinced Mr. Schuester to give him the solo in _Dancing Queen_. And he's still the boy who egged her house afterwards.

But none of that seems to matter in that moment. In that moment he's not Puck, he's someone new who she's never met before.

It may also have to do with the fact that they just had their Christmas Concert and afterwards Finn and Quinn had gone off to a secluded corner to talk which ended in _both_ of them crying and then kissing. Rachel isn't sure which is more of a shock: the fact that they got back together or the fact that she had expected anything else.

Quinn had been following Finn around for the past few days, Rachel had noticed. Trying to talk to him when he would let her. Rachel wondered why Quinn couldn't just leave well enough alone. She also wondered why Finn hadn't coming running to her the moment everything happened.

It's almost like a slap in the face when she sees them together, _almost_.

She finds it amusing that the first person she looks at is Puck. He's standing there, just as awkwardly as she is, watching the scene unfold.

Everyone claps. Everyone but the two of them. It's like they're both frozen, suspended in time. Rachel desperately wants time to be rewound so she can run out before her heart has to break, _again. _Because it _is_ breaking, Quinn doesn't deserve Finn, yet she gets him. Rachel deserves him, or at least she likes to think she does, and she's left out in the cold.

It takes her a moment before she realizes that Puck is staring back at her. His eyes boring into hers, the softest shade of green she's ever seen them.

It's a look of understanding. But then she blinks and he's gone, walking out of the room without a second glance at the happy couple. Rachel focuses her attention back on Finn and Quinn, she's still very pregnant but Finn doesn't even seem to mind. He has his hand on the small of her back and his lips pressed against her forehead and Rachel resists the urge to throw up because it should be her, not Quinn, right?

Finn catches her eye and gives her a small smile and she feels like she's suffocating. _What's wrong with her? _There has to be a reason why he doesn't want her. Maybe she's too fat, too ugly, not smart enough, not talented enough? Why would he still reject her and then go back to Quinn, after everything she did?

Finn isn't looking at her anymore, he's too busy getting pats on the back from Mike and Matt. So she leaves. She slips on her coat and walks out the door and tries not to think about everything that just happened.

It takes her a moment before she realizes that she doesn't have a ride home because her father's are in New York visiting a friend. She sighs loudly and looks around the parking lot and then remembers that she was supposed to get a ride home from Kurt. He offered, somewhat grudgingly, after he overheard Rachel talking to Tina about it. But then she hears everyone exit the school, all laughing and talking, and then someone yells,

"Let's go get some pizza!" and there is no way she is going to sit by and watch as Quinn and Finn hang all over each other. She knows that if Kurt goes, she'll have to go because he _is_ her ride home. So when she sees him gesturing towards his car she makes a spur of the moment decision and turns, walking in the opposite direction, away from the group.

That's when she finds herself face to face with Puck, leaning against his truck with his hands shoved in his coat pockets. He's looking past her and she turns her head and sees Quinn holding Finn's hand like it was a lifeline. When she turns back to Puck, he's looking at her now with an expression she's never seen on his face before. He looks defeated and tired but … sympathetic.

"Hey."

She clears her throat, "Hi."

They stare at each other for a long moment. Not saying anything, not really feeling anything. Neither really wanting to. It feels like an impasse.

"You wanna get out of here?" he asks suddenly, jerking his thumb over his shoulder as he pushes himself off the side of his truck. She's quiet for about 10 seconds as she mulls over the offer in her head. And she's not sure why she does it, but he just seems so different. He seems … more human. Vulnerable even.

So she shrugs, "Sure." And he gives her a small open mouthed grin before pulling open the door to his truck. It's a romantic gesture, she thinks, opening the door for someone. But she doesn't comment on it, for fear of pulling him out of his weird mood with her usual commentary, and gets in. He shuts the door and she glances over at everyone else as he walks over to the driver's side.

They don't even realize the two of them aren't there. They're outsiders now, both ostracized because they were selfish. Because they willingly ruined lives to get what they wanted. And in the end all they had was nothing.

Except each other, she supposes. Because even after Rachel ruined Puck's friendship with Finn, he was the only person who wouldn't send her hateful glares during Glee or make comments about her under his breath. Sometimes he even looked grateful and she thought that maybe it was because he no longer had to carry around this huge secret.

"Where are we going?" she asks and he shrugs his shoulders as he starts the car and backs out of the space.

"Where ever the wind takes us." he mumbles and they both look at the happy bunch of kids that are rallied around Kurt's Navigator as they pull out of the parking lot. For once in her high school career, she doesn't want to be part of that crowd. It's a surprising revelation. She's strived for the past 6 months to try and get them to accept her and now she can barely look at the people she once tried to call her friends.

They never liked her. Not at all.

She sneaks a glance at Puck. He has a solemn look on his face, staring straight ahead as he drives down the street and away from the school. She wonders what he's thinking about and it bothers her. She's usually able to tell a person's thoughts by their face; she's found that most people are easy to read. But not Puck, he always looks blank or bored.

She shivers, her teeth chattering a little. Without a word, Puck reaches over and turns on the heater. The warm air hits her face and she feels her whole body relax.

"Thank you." she says quietly and he simply nods. He's unusually quiet and she's beginning to seriously question why she agreed to go anywhere with him when he sighs.

"What?" she asks and he shrugs his shoulders and then looks over at her quickly, smiling.

"I keep waiting for you to ramble on about shit I don't care about. But you're just sitting there, all quiet. Kinda creepin' me out, Berry." he answers, somewhat playfully. She's not sure if she should be offended or not but she does note that she _is _being uncharacteristically quiet.

"Well, I suppose I could talk about Show tunes?" she offers and he snorts,

"Never mind, I like the quiet."

"Where are going?" she tries again and he chuckles softly.

"Wait and see."

"I don't like surprises."

"Bullshit, everyone loves surprises. Even control freaks like you."

"I am not a control freak. I simply like knowing what's going to happen and when it's going to happen, that way I can be adequately prepared."

"Control freak." he says in a sing-song voice and she glares at him before crossing her arms over her chest and pouting. Apparently Puck finds this very amusing because he starts chortling, which she thinks is extremely aggravating.

So she switches on the radio.

"Hey!" he cries and she looks over at him innocently,

"Yes?"

"Come on Berry, you know the rules." And surprisingly enough, she does. They may have only dated for 4 days but she remembers everything he said to her, including the first day he gave her a ride home and said that there was a strict _'Don't touch the radio'_ policy. Unless of course she wanted to walk home or lose an arm. But he's smiling as he switches the station to some rock music and his thumbs drum along the steering wheel and she's never seen him be so … at ease.

"What are we doing?" she asks and he shrugs his shoulders again.

"Whatever the hell we want."

His words are liberating. Maybe she can be free. Free from everything she's forced onto herself. Just the thought made a happy little smile creep onto her face.

– – – –

They drive in silence after that. It's not awkward and it's not tense, it's … comfortable, soothing even. The gentle sound of Puck humming along to the radio and the warmth from the heater is enough to lull her to sleep.

But she can't sleep, she's too wired. Puck is driving down narrow roads that wind in unfamiliar ways but he seems to know exactly where he's going. Rachel's mind is turning, trying to figure out where he's taking her. The road starts to get rocky and the truck bounces up and down, rattling her. And as Puck turns onto a dirt path that leads through a thick of tree, Rachel has a thought.

She's seen this movie before.

Maybe Puck isn't sympathetic to her cause at all. Maybe he's actually upset with her because she outed him and Quinn. Maybe he brought her out here to kill her!

No one would hear her scream and it'd be easy to hide her body. Her panic only increases as he pulls into a clearing and shuts off his truck.

"Come on."

"Is this the part where you kill me?" she calls after him, completely serious and he just laughs. It's against her better judgement but she gets out of the car and follows him around to the back.

Puck never ceases to continuously surprise her. He's shaking out a thick slightly worn blanket and rolling it open onto the bed of his truck and Rachel is just blinking at him because …

"... Is this how you're going to dispose of my body?" she asks as he jumps up onto the truck. He's going to kill her and then just ... roll her up in a blanket? She has to admit that she's a little disappointed at his lack of originality.

"What? Don't be retarded." he mutters as he holds out his hand, which she eyes suspiciously for a moment. To her, this is a moment that is full of double meanings. If she takes his hand, then it means that she trusts him. Trusts him enough not to kill her and trusts him enough to let him in.

She has to remind herself that he's not Puck right now, he's Noah.

Rachel takes his hand and is relieved that he pulls her up with him and doesn't let her fall in the process. He plops down sloppily and then looks up at her expectantly before patting the space beside him. She sits and then she waits.

But Puck doesn't say anything. He just leans back with his hands tucked behind his head and stares up at the sky. Rachel doesn't understand what he's doing, what _they're _doing and what's even more confusing is that she doesn't mind. Normally, not knowing things drives her crazy. He was right when he said she was a control freak.

There's something about this moment that is just too perfect. She would ruin it if she started questioning it. So, she follows his lead and says nothing, laying down next to him and looking at the stars.

She's never seen them so bright, or so many. They fill up every corner of the sky, twinkling silver and blue and even red. _It's breathtaking_.

"Cool, huh?" she hears him ask, "You can never see 'em in the city 'cause of all the lights. But there's like … tons of them."

"Where are we?" she murmurs and he shrugs besides her.

"The middle of the woods, I guess." he pauses and she feels him shift, "When I was a kid, you know …_ before _my dad left and when he wasn't drunk, he used to take me and Finn camping out here. I don't even think we had tents, just sleeping bags." she can hear the smile in his laugh and he chuckles softly, "Anyways, my dad would always pass out early and me and Finn would stare up at the sky for hours and try to see if we could make out pictures of boobs in the stars."

Rachel snorts, "How juvenile." but she looks over at him with a smile and he smirks back at her,

"We were twelve. Well, we still do it. Or … did it." He sounds sad now, maybe even remorseful. She had no idea that Puck could feel remorse for anything. Rachel can feel the tension in him now so she changes the subject,

"I can't believe it hasn't snowed yet." she muses and her breath puffs out in front of her in the frigid night air.

"Yeah, it's weird."

They fall back into silence after that, just watching the stars. Rachel thinks it's because they don't really have a lot to say to each other. What could they say? It's better when it's quiet.

"Noah!" she gasps, reaching out to grasp his arm just as a shooting star flashes across the sky, "Quick, make a wish!" she says as she squeezes her eyes shut and wishes for Broadway. Wishes that one day she'll be one of those bright shining stars way up in the sky.

When she opens her eyes he's looking at her, "What'd you wish for?" he questions and she laughs softly,

"I can't tell you, if I tell you it won't come true." she smiles and he rolls his eyes as he turns to look back at the night sky.

"I wished that I had never slept with Quinn." he admits suddenly and she glances at him, trying not to seem surprised, "Doesn't matter if I tell you because we both know it's not coming true, right?"

He doesn't wait for her to answer, "Finn hates me and Quinn won't even talk to me." He sucks in a deep breath between clenched teeth and lets it out slowly as he shakes his head.

"God, I fucked up."

Rachel isn't sure what came over her but Puck just looks so … heartbroken and she doesn't think. She leans over and kisses him. His lips are soft, just like they were when she kissed him before.

It takes her a second but, she realizes that he isn't kissing her back. He's not moving at all. And that's when she thinks that she may be the biggest idiot in the entire world.

This is _Puck _and he's not kissing her back.

Rachel jerks away from him and tumbles back, "Oh ..." she breaths and scrambles to stand up. Puck props himself up on his elbows and cocks an eyebrow at her,

"Berry-"

"I am _so _sorry. I have to … I have to go." _Stupid, stupid girl _she berates herself as she jumps out of his truck. Rachel looks around frantically, trying to find somewhere to _escape _to. But there's no where; she's in the middle of the woods with a boy who she just tried to kiss and, despite being the biggest man-whore she's ever met, didn't return the favor.

The humiliation alone might kill her.

"Rachel, wait ..." she supposes she could just run into the forest but there are probably bears. She can hear Puck walking up behind her and she spins around to face him,

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that. I can assure you that I was not trying to take advantage of your emotional vulnerability-" she starts and then shes rambling, not even sure what she's saying, Just words strung together that she hopes make sense.

"Berry." Puck says forcefully, cutting her off mid sentence as he grips her shoulders and gives them a gentle shake,

"_Chill_."

"But I-" she starts again and he rolls his eyes before ducking down and kissing her. Her eyes widen in shock before she realizes what's happening. It's amazing because all the tension leaves her body and she melts until she's putty in his hands. Rachel squeezes her eyes shut and savors the feeling of his mouth against hers. Warm, wet and he tastes like mint.

Her hands find their way to his sides and her fingers grab onto his coat, pulling him closer to her. His hands are already cupping her cheeks, threading into her hair.

It's like they're suspended in time again. Except _this time_ she doesn't mind.

Puck pulls away first and he's breathing hard enough that every time he exhales he puffs out a little cloud of air. He smirks at her before pecking her on the lips quickly.

Now she really doesn't understand.

"I knew I could make you speechless." he says smugly and Rachel scowls at him before palming his face between her hands and dragging his lips back to hers.

She doesn't understand it but, it's kind of perfect. He's broken and she's broken and they're both like a huge puzzle with missing pieces and there's no way of putting them back together. But they fit, his lips against hers, his hands on her waist, her arms around his neck. It's almost like it doesn't hurt anymore.

And then it starts to snow.

– – – – – –

She's not sure what she was expecting. It's not midnight trysts in her bedroom and being yanked into random storage closets at school but that's what she gets.

She shouldn't be surprised. It _is _Puck after all. And she's still Rachel Berry.

They don't talk about it but, it's understood.

Rachel can't for the life of her figure out why he doesn't want to be with her. What else has he got to lose? His social standing has decreased rapidly ever since the truth about the real father of Quinn's baby got out.

"Why?" she asks him as he tugs back on his shoes at the foot of her bed. He's gotten very good at climbing in and out of her bedroom window at all hours of the night. He stiffens and let's out a heavy sigh, all she asked was why but the rest was implied.

_Why do we keep doing this?_

"I don't know." he says between gritted teeth and slips into his jacket. It's times like these that Rachel thinks it's obvious that Puck doesn't like her very much. But then he stands by the side of her bed and just looks at her, with an unreadable expression until he finally leans down and kisses her. And the kiss is so … _sweet _and it makes her heart melt a little. He grins at her and rubs her shoulder before disappearing out of her window again. She's left with this little smile on her face and a fluttering in her stomach. _And that right there,_ is exactly why _she _keeps doing this.

Still, Rachel is an old-fashioned girl at heart, she may talk a lot about having her own independence as a woman and not needing a man, but she still wants to be courted. She wants someone to hold her hand and carry her books and open doors for her.

Puck adamantly refuses to do any of this. He won't even _talk _to her when other people are around unless he absolutely has to.

It drives her insane.

But she goes along with it because when they're alone they have these … _almost-perfect moments. _Moments where he'll kiss her and the whole world and all her problems go away. Finn and Quinn and the baby, the whole mess she dug herself into is gone. _It's addicting._ Of course, those moments only last so long and then they're back in reality. He won't acknowledge her unless they're alone and she still doesn't have any friends. Not even Finn who hasn't talked to her since he started dating Quinn again.

– – – –

_You are the one, the one who lies next to me_

_Whispers hello, I miss you quite terribly_

– – – –

The day Rachel finally snaps, it all starts like this; she and Puck are having another grope session in some tiny closet. It's crammed and uncomfortable but she doesn't care because his tongue is wrapped around hers in a way that makes her eyes roll back in her head.

Then the bell rings and everything starts to spiral.

"Shit." he breaths against her mouth and she whimpers, clinging to him. The moment is almost gone and she doesn't want to lose it. But Puck pulls away, like he _always _does.

"Hey … leave in like … three minutes, that way no one like … you know, sees." he instructs and all Rachel can do it stare at him. This is how it always is with them.

Except this time, there's something different about it. Maybe it's because she's tired of hiding or maybe it's because she doesn't like the way his shirt looks today. Whatever it is, it's small and it sets her off.

But before she can open her mouth to yell, he's already disappearing out of the closet with a quick kiss to the side of her head,

"Later babe." he says playfully as he shuts the door and she's left with her mouth hanging open. She feels tired; this _game_ is getting old very quickly and she already feels all of her teenage girl fantasies about the perfect boyfriend slipping away. _This isn't who she is. _

She needs him to realize that she can't be his _secret friend_, she's either the leading lady in this movie or nothing at all.

Deciding to avoid him isn't one of her best ideas, he's literally everywhere now that shes trying to escape him. But, she perseveres in her mission to be completely Puck free; _she's not that girl. _Dropping him is like quitting cold turkey, it's harder than it seems. She sees him and she craves him, like a junkie in need of a fix. The way he lets his fingertips dance along her spine or the way his mouth always finds that spot right under her ear.

Sometimes she wants him to come find her and kiss her until she's completely blind. And that thought scares her and makes her want to hide away forever. _She can't let him win. _So, she locks her bedroom window at night, waits until the last minute to leave for school, and avoids dark spaces that she could be yanked into.

_She refuses to let him get to her. _

After the first month, it's turned more into her trying to convince herself not to go to him rather than her showing him what he's missing.

He doesn't even seem to notice she's ignoring him.

_ And she's miserable. _Even more miserable than before because now she truly has no one. She pushed him away and that left her completely alone. Puck may not have been one for talking or doing anything other than making out ,but at least he was _there_.

All of her time and energy is put into avoiding Puck and remembering to breathe. It's physically and emotionally exhausting, she feels drained more than half the time.

So when Mr. Schuester offers her the lead in a number for Glee she respectfully declines. He doesn't seem to believe her at first, which she finds offensive, and tells her she doesn't need to worry, he's not going to give it away to someone else.

"Honestly Mr. Schuester, I don't want it."

The teacher sputters, "But I-" he frowns down at her, obviously confused, maybe a little surprised, "Are you sure?"

Rachel sighs heavily, "Is it so hard to believe that maybe for once I don't wish to be the center of attention?"

"Uh, yes?" Mercedes remarks snidely and Kurt snorts in agreement. Rachel just rolls her eyes and then looks down to inspect her fingernails, ignoring them. Mr. Schuester clears his throat uncomfortably and then turns to Tina,

"Um … Tina would you like the solo?" the girl nods her head eagerly, her black hair taking on a blue hue as it moves under the fluorescent lights. Rachel briefly wonders if her hair has some type of hue to it (she tries to think of anything to keep her mind off the fact that she can feel _his _eyes boring into the back of her skull).

It doesn't go unnoticed by her that everyone is staring at her all during rehearsal. Probably waiting for her to throw a tantrum and demand her solo back. Or maybe faint. She feels like she's going to start hyperventilating if they all don't look elsewhere.

"I think that's all for today." Mr. Schuester announces, somewhat hesitantly. Rachel takes the opportunity to bolt from the room, she can't be there anymore. Not with Finn looking so concerned and Puck just looking.

She finds it somewhat amusing, Glee was once her sanctuary, now it's her purgatory. Rushing out of the room, she nearly trips twice and then stumbles out in the hall. After she's regained her balance, she continues on as gracefully as she can as she basically power walks to her locker.

She needs to hurry, he'll be out soon and she has a feeling that today is going to be the day that their little game of cat and mouse ends, if they're actually even playing. But, she tries her best not let that happen and fumbles with her lock, quickly getting it undone and yanking open her locker. Grabbing as many books as she can at once, she drops them into her bag.

Time is of the essence.

She feels him before she hears him. _She wasn't kidding when she said she was psychic._ The hairs of the back of her neck stand up and her pulse quickens. Then his hands graze her arms as they move to rest of the lockers on either side of hers, trapping her in.

"I miss you." he whispers against her hair and she freezes as he rests his chin on her shoulder. He's radiating heat and she feels like her skin is electrically charged as he presses feather light kisses against her neck.

"Whose fault is that?" she mutters under her breath and shoves the last book into her bag before turning around to face him. He's closer than she expected and her nose grazes his as his eyes flash with anger.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not." she answers easily but she can tell he doesn't believe her by the way his eyes narrow and his jaw clenches,

"Bullshit." he says simply and she feels her confidence waning, he's so close that she can _smell _him. It's enough to make her want to launch herself into his arms and bury her nose in the crook of his neck and just be surrounded by that scent forever.

"Why are you avoiding me?" he asks again and she gets lost in his eyes, like a sea of green flecked with honey and gold. She blinks quickly and looks down at the ground; she can't get distracted by his beauty.

"Because …" she starts but she doesn't know how to finish. She has no explanation other than she's tired of not being enough for him, of him using her. (She wants to scream at him to fight for her, to say that this is something more, that it can be something more. But, she has a feeling that that's pushing it.)

"I have to go." she whispers as she raises her gaze back to his and he stares down at her for a moment, looking for some kind of loophole in her eyes. When she doesn't show signs of relenting, he throws his hands up and steps aside so that she can leave.

She waits until she's safely tucked away in her car before she cries.


	2. Part 2

Reuploading due to a few technical problems! Sorry!

* * *

_I like where you sleep, when you sleep next to me._

_I like when you sleep, here_

– – – –

Her dads are gone for the weekend. He always seems to find her when they're not home. He must have a special radar for it.

It's around midnight when she hears the tap. At first she thinks it's the branches from the tree outside hitting her bedroom window but then remembers that her daddy trimmed that tree two weeks ago. She hesitantly climbs off her bed and approaches the window, squinting down into the dark when she reaches it.

It's Puck. He's standing in front of her house with a handful of tiny pebbles in his hand. She doesn't even think twice before she opens her window and let's him crawl up the tree and into her room.

"What are you-" He cuts her off by enveloping her in a hug and crushing her against him. It feels like home and that's what scares her. She feels like she can breath easily for the first time in six weeks. Rachel doesn't talk as she moves from his hold to slip his jacket off his shoulders and then sits him down on her bed.

She knows somethings wrong when she kneels down to pull off his shoes and he doesn't ask her if she's going to give him a blow job. He's not saying anything at all. He looks desolate.

"Noah." she whispers, "Lay down." He obliges, somewhat stiffly, and rolls over onto his back. Rachel curls up on the bed next to him, but not touching him.

"What's wrong?" she asks and her voice sounds so loud in the quiet of her bedroom. He clears his throat, the first sound he's made all night,

"Quinn had the baby." he says hoarsely and Rachel blinks, _she had the baby? _"She had the baby and I … I got to hold her." he continues, "For all of two minutes before they took her away." his voice cracks on the last word and Rachel reaches out to grab his hand, grateful that he doesn't pull away.

He sniffles, "She looks like me, you know?" And then before she knows it he's actually _crying. _Like sobbing. She's never seen Puck cry, she never thought she would. He doesn't need to explain to her about the rest, she's heard during Glee. Quinn found someone to adopt the baby, someone who wasn't crazy Mrs. Schuester. Some young couple who live a few towns away, she remembers Puck looked horrible for days after that.

"Shhh." she murmurs as she strokes the back of his hand with her thumb, "It's okay." He mumbles something she can't quite make out as he buries his head into her pillow.

_He's so vulnerable. _

– – – –

Rachel has never watched him sleep before. Her fingertips ghost over the planes of his face as he dozes off and he actually looks peaceful. There's no scowl or smirk, he almost looks like a little boy.

She comes to the conclusion that she likes watching him sleep. It's like he's a different person, he's _Noah_. Rachel smiles; she likes it when he's Noah. So many things race through her mind as she watches him. The first being that she can't believe she's back here again, alone in her room with him.

"The staring is creeping me out, Rach." he mumbles and Rachel frowns, how does he … his eyes aren't even open! He smirks and cracks them open slowly,

"I know I'm good looking and everything but-" she whacks him on the arm and he starts to chuckle and she remembers just how much she _loves _that sound.

"You okay?" she asks after he's stopped laughing.

"Yeah … I'm sorry about … earlier." he bites out and Rachel reaches out and strokes his cheek softly,

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He inhales sharply, "No." Rachel's heart drops because he's pulling away from her, like he _always _does. But then he surprises her, "I just … can I just hold you for a bit?"

She's too shocked to do anything but nod. He gives her a small smile before she worms her way into his arms. It feels more than _nice, _it feels safe and warm and happy.

"I miss you." he breathes as he nuzzles his face into her hair and she melts, just like she always does. Then, of course, he has to ruin the moment, "If you tell anyone that I cried I'll have to kill you."

"Shut up, Noah." she mutters but she's still smiling. And just like that, she lets him back in.

Something changes that night and it's something big. _He came to her_ is the only thing that is playing on repeat in her mind as his fingers run through her hair. He trusted her enough to let her be there for him when his whole world was falling apart.

It's a moment she'll cherish forever. She feels like he gave her a little piece of himself; let her in just a little bit more.

Soon, she finds herself lying on her stomach and playing with the frilly edge of her pillow case while he stares up at the ceiling and talks to her about why he hates hospitals so much. It's so _normal, _like they could spend the rest of their lives just talking to each other and it would never be awkward. And she makes him laugh, a real laugh with a happy smile and she's never been more proud of herself.

Something has changed between them, and she knows it's for the better. So, when she thinks about school on Monday, she's not worried at all.

Because there's no way he's ignoring her now.

– – – –

She doesn't try to classify it; that would be stupid beyond belief. Puck is like cattle, the smallest change spooks him and he's off running, trampling over her heart in the process. No, she plans on _building _their relationship, starting with a good foundation of friendship. Something they've never had, as he so rudely pointed out that day on the bleachers when she broke up with him.

"Does this mean we don't get to make out?" is all he asks when she tells him that they should take things slow. She just rolls her eyes and drags him into the nearest supply closet and shows him just how much that _is not _what this means.

He still doesn't carry her books or open doors for her, but he buys her a grape slushie every morning before he picks her up for school. The best part is that he sits with her in Glee, so close to her that he's nearly on top of her. And sometimes, when he thinks no one is looking, his hand finds it's way up the back of her chair and gets tangled in hair, playing with the ends and running it through his fingers.

She's happy with this set up, it works. And she hasn't failed to notice that Puck basically ignores every girl who has tried to throw herself on him and that he hasn't been sexting anyone. (She knows this because she checked his phone one night when he left to get her a soda at the movies.)

It's like they're in a real relationship.

But, they're not. Which Matt innocently and unknowingly reminds her of one day after school. Puck is in detention for talking back to a teacher, she waits for him in the library and catches up on some of her homework. She's chewing on the cap of her pen as she tries to remember the main causes of the Great Depression when someone clears their throat,

"Hey." Rachel looks up to see Matt looming over her. She simply raises an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to explain himself further. When he doesn't, she sighs and sets down her pen,

"Can I help you Matthew?" she asks politely and then glances over at the clock, its 15 minutes before Puck gets out and she hopes that whatever Matt wants to talk to her about does not surpass that time limit. Puck promised to go over their set list for Regionals with her after school(which translates into making out).

"You mind if I sit?" he scratches the back of his head nervously as he motions to the empty seat next to her with his other hand. She shakes her head and slides her books closer to her. Matt slips in between the chair and the table and squirms for a minute before propping his elbows up on the table.

"So, I have a question for you." he admits, a minute of silence passes by and when he doesn't ask his question, she frowns,

"Well?" she urges impatiently. Matt looks extremely uncomfortable and rubs a hand over his shorn head. She finds it to be endearing that he seems so nervous talking to her; maybe Puck is rubbing off on her.

"I'm kind of nervous about this and if you say no there's a possibility that I'll cry." Rachel giggles at his statement and slaps a hand over her mouth when he glares playfully at her,

"Yeah, not helping." he mumbles and she bites her lip and gives him what she hopes is a reassuring smile, "I was wondering if you want to go to prom with me?" he asks quickly and then inhales an unsteady breath,

"Well, it's not prom, it's junior prom but it's the same concept, I'm guessing. You know, with the fancy dresses and the corsage and then the music. But, we don't have to dance if you're not into that. I'm sorry, I'm not usually this … inarticulate." he rambles.

Rachel stares at him blankly, "You're asking me to prom?"

"...Yes."

"Why?"

"Well, I … Because … I wanted to?" he says but it comes out like a question. Rachel can't figure out for the life of her why this boy is asking her to a high school dance. But more importantly, what she can't figure out is why Puck hasn't asked her already.

And then she remembers, they're not dating. And going to prom would be considered very date like. _Spooks like cattle_, she reminds herself. Rachel slumps down in defeat, suddenly feeling very tired from thinking about her non-relationship with Puck. It's almost like they've made no progress at all. Especially if Matt feels that he can openly ask her to the dance without fear of Puck beating him up.

_He's not her boyfriend. _

"... Rachel?" Matt's hand waves in front of her face and she jumps, "Spaced out there for a second ..." he explains as she frowns at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry." she replies absently and then looks up at the clock, five minutes before Puck gets out. She turns back to Matt, who is looking at her with deflated hope.

"May I get back to you about your offer when I'm sure that my schedule is clear?" she asks. He brightens a little and nods his head. It makes her feel guilty, she's leading him on. She doesn't want to decline, he really is a nice boy but, she needs to make certain that Puck isn't going to ask her.

She would really prefer it if he did.

– – – –

Rachel has never been one for subtlety. Why dance around something and then end up avoiding it forever when you can just be blunt and ask straight away ?

In this situation, she thinks subtle may be the key. She's sitting on her desk chair watching Puck; he's sprawled out on her bed, leafing through a dirty magazine, which she finds repulsive. (She finds it strange that he just seems to _fit so perfectly _into every aspect of her life.) She's been having an internal debate for the last twenty minutes about how she's going to segue into the topic of the dance and Matt.

In the end, she decides to crawl over him and straddle his lap, yanking the magazine out of his hands and tossing it onto the floor. Puck smirks up at her as his hands come to rest on her hips,

"You wanna make out?" he asks cockily and she rolls her eyes, pushing him back down on the bed as he tries to reach up and kiss her.

"Are you going to ask me to prom?" she asks bluntly, _to hell with subtle,_ and he stares at her like she isn't speaking English. Then he rolls his eyes,

"Hell no."

She pouts, "Why not?

"Because school dances are for losers." he mutters and then leans up to kiss her again. Rachel puts her hands on his shoulders and stills him.

"... Matt asked me to go with him." she says quietly and his eyes narrow dangerously,

"No."

Her mouth falls open, "What do you mean _no_?"

"I mean, no. You can't go with him." Rachel scowls at him and then pushes herself off his lap. Inside, somewhere deep down, she's elated at his possessiveness, but on the surface, she's furious.

"Well, why can't I go with him if you're not going to take me?" she asks petulantly, with her arms crossed. Puck pulls himself off the bed and glares down at her,

"The fuck do you want to go with Rutherford for anyways?"

"He's a very nice boy and he asked-"

"You'll be bored." he interjects and when she goes to open her mouth he keeps speaking, "You'll be bored and you'll wish you had stayed home with me and watched all those old movies you like."

"I want to go to the dance." she insists, "And if you don't take me then-" she moves around him as she speaks and pulls out her chair, "- then, I guess you don't care about me like I hoped you did."

"_Rachel-_" he says through gritted teeth, but she ignores him.

"I think I _will_ go with Matt." she finishes and sits down at her desk daintily. She opens her laptop and then spares him a glance over her shoulder, he almost looks torn. But, she doesn't want to get her hopes up,

"You can go." she adds and he stands there for a few seconds, not moving at all. And then he's right behind her, his mouth centimeters away from the side of her face.

"I wish you wouldn't do this." he breathes and presses a sharp kiss to the side of her head. She hopes he doesn't notice her gasp softly. When she turns around, he's already climbed out of her window. She doesn't understand it, but tears leak out of the corner of her eyes and she grips the edge of her desk so tightly that her knuckles turn white. _So much for not getting her hopes up._

And then she feels her heart actually break because she knows that she just might actually be_ in_ love with Noah Puckerman. Otherwise it wouldn't hurt so much that he doesn't love her back. Finn was just infatuation, an ideal. But Puck … Puck was real. He was flesh and bone and rough edges. He never sugar-coated anything and was always in her face and she loved every minute of it.

But, he didn't fight for her like she so desperately wants him to. Instead, he just let her slip through his fingers just like every single moment they've had together. _Because all they have are stolen moments._

She stares at her window for a long time, willing him to swing back in and kiss her and tell her that he'd be happy to take her anywhere in public as his date.

He doesn't, of course. So in the morning, she sends Matt a text and tells him that she would love to go with him to the dance.

Then, she tells him her dress is pink and to match his tie.

– – – – – –

Matt arrives early, five minutes to seven, and sits in the living room with her fathers as she puts the finishing touches on her hair and make up. She thinks she looks decent, but she's not really trying. She doesn't feel like being pretty for anyone but Puck, pathetic as it may be.

However the look on Matt's face as she descends the stairs makes her think that maybe she did a better job than she had originally thought. He lets out a low whistle,

"Wow." he compliments and she twirls slowly when she reaches the final step as her dads clap happily. She suddenly feels like beaming,

"Thank you."she says sheepishly. Matt takes pictures with her for her fathers and opens the car door for her and takes her out to eat at a nice restaurant before driving over to the dance.

All the while they make polite conversation and he tries to make her laugh by making fun of their waiter's avant-garde mustache. When they reach the double doors, she's suddenly over come with an emotion she can't seem to name. It's a cross between anxious and completely drained.

As soon as they enter the dance she makes a beeline for their table and situates herself so that she is staring right at the throng of teenagers. Matt sits down next to her and after a few minutes she notices Matt swaying to the music slightly and she knows he wants to dance. But, she can't seem to bring herself to offer.

"You want some punch?" Matt asks finally after minutes of awkward silence. She nods quickly, grasping at the opportunity to break the tension. She watches him jog over to the table and observes as he easily gets distracted by Mike and Brittany. It's obvious that he's not enjoying himself because of her. She looks back to the dance floor; There are couples everywhere, dancing and kissing and … groping. And there she is, sitting alone in her pink dress, she feels like she's in a Molly Ringwald movie.

Matt returns a few moments later and hands her a drink before unceremoniously plopping down into the seat next to her. She gives him a small, and hopefully apologetic, smile, "I'm sorry you're not having fun."

"I'm having tons of fun." he says lightly and she gives him an unbelieving look and he holds up his hands as he shrugs, "Well, there could be more fun to be had." he admits.

Rachel sighs, "I think that I'm going to go home." she says as she stands and he bolts straight up.

"Already? We just got here."

"No, Matt … you should stay. Please," she adds when he goes to protest, "Please stay and enjoy yourself. I'm sorry that I've been such a … such a downer. Maybe your night can still be salvaged."

Matt frowns, "Are you sure? I mean … I could take you home."

"No, I … this wasn't fair to you. I shouldn't have agreed to this when my heart is so obviously elsewhere."

"It's Puck, isn't it?" he asks knowingly and Rachel can only nod. Matt takes in a deep breath and looks over across the dance floor, the DJ is playing some hip hop tune now and everyone is sort of thrashing around,

"The guy's an idiot, but … if it's any consolation, I think he has some serious feelings for you."

She scoffs weakly, "Apparently not serious enough." Matt smiles warmly at her and rubs her shoulder before leaning in to kiss the side of her head,

"You look beautiful tonight, in case I haven't told you yet." and then, with a quick wave, he saunters away. Rachel watches him until he disappears into the thick of people and when he's fully gone from her view she walks towards the exit.

She's not sure that Junior Prom is an experience she'd ever like to relive.

– – – – – –

The cold air hits her lungs as she walks outside and causes her to cough. It feels nice in comparison to the humid and sticky climate that was inside. Still, she wishes she had brought a wrap; her arms break out in goosebumps and she rubs them frantically as she tries to warm her skin.

"Come here often?" she jumps at the sound of his deep voice. When she looks over she feels her mouth drop open, she's pretty sure that he is the most beautiful specimen of man she's ever seen._ He looks amazing in a tux._

"What are you doing here?" she chatters and he shrugs out of his suit jacket and hands it to her. She takes it slowly and admires the way that his muscles move underneath his white shirt, "And looking so debonair?"

"What are you doing out here?" he asks, ignoring her question completely. She gives him a wry smile and turns to face him fully,

"You first." they stare at each other for a long moment, another impasse.

"Why do you think I'm here?" he asks finally and she feels a smile twitching at her lips. She knows why he's here, and her heart is doing backflips because of it, but she wants him to say it; out loud.

"I don't know."

"Damn it, come on Rachel ..." he mutters as he takes a step towards her, "You know why."

"No, I don't. I think you should tell me."

"Where's Matt?" he tries changing the subject, but she just shakes her head at him and inches closer to him,

"Inside, enjoying himself I hope. I told him that I was leaving so I would no longer be ruining his evening." she explains when he looks at her confused.

"And he just let you? What, he was just going to let you walk home? The dick-head." Puck growls and Rachel is close enough to touch him now,

"_Noah.__" _she says forcefully and he looks down at her, "Why are you here?"

Puck rolls his eyes, "Because … because you're my girl, alright? And there was no way that I was gonna let fucking Matt touch you. Like at all." Her hand curls around his bicep, happy little butterflies flutter rapidly against the lining of her stomach.

"You care about me?" she asks, a small smile playing at her lips. He frowns at her like she's crazy and then reaches up to brush a strand of hair out of her face,

"Well, duh." he answers bluntly and she knows that she's beaming now. Her fingers graze over his silk tie before gripping it tightly in her hand and then she tugs on it. He gets the message and leans down so that her lips find his. It's sweeter than any of the kisses she's received from him before, there's a subtle kind of longing behind it and she feels herself hanging onto to him tightly. When they pull apart he gently nuzzles his nose against hers and her knees nearly give out from the tenderness of this moment. Because this is _Puck, _he doesn't do tender or sweet. But, he's doing it for her.

"You want to go back in and dance?" he asks quietly and she bites her lip as she glances back at the doors to the auditorium. She can hear the reverb from the music inside and it sounds even less inviting than before.

"How about we get out of here instead?" she turns her head back to him and he's grinning, "We can go look at the stars."

"And make out?" he adds hopefully and she giggles. When she nods, he smiles widely and drags her off towards his truck. She gets a strange sense of deja vu, it's just like before. Except this time she's completely and obliviously happy. Puck opens the door for her and makes sure she's in before slamming it shut and runnning over to his side, an extra bounce in his step.

It's a perfect moment, a perfect string of moments. Even if he still doesn't let her touch the radio.

– – – –

The beginning ends where it started.

Puck drives them up to that same clearing in the trees and Rachel threads her fingers through his as she watches the scenery pass. It's been six months since they were last here and this time it's a different kind of liberation she feels.

Everything is perfect in her little universe and it's like she can finally breathe again; deep long breaths. Her whole world has been turned upside down in the best way imaginable because her hand _fits perfectly _in his. And he's humming along with the radio and he's _smiling_, her favorite smile. His _Noah _smile.

And when he helps her up into the back of his truck, she takes his hand without thinking about it because she _trusts him_. Completely.

They're dressed in formal wear, sitting on the thick layer of dirt in the bed of his truck, and she couldn't care less. He draws her against him and she settles herself between his legs with her back to his chest. His arms wrap around her instantly and she's in that warm, safe, _nice _place again.

She can't believe this all started with her wanting Finn. And then ended with Puck being the only constant in her life, her only friend. She knows that she's entirely too dependent on him now and that he probably feels the same towards her. Even though he would never admit it. But building trust is an ongoing project and she hopes that one day he'll trust her enough to let her in all the way and finally tell her that he loves her (because she knows he does, it's only a matter of time before he knows it himself). Until then, she'll settle for him humming _Sweet Caroline _softly to her as they sit together, suspended in time again.

The stars twinkle against the deep navy sky and she snuggles closer to him, this moment is too perfect to be _stolen_, it's hers to keep. Forever.

She knows they won't all be perfect moments, he's still Puck and she's still Rachel Berry. They're going to fight and yell and she'll end up crying more often than not. But when he kisses her, she feels mammoth sized butterflies thrashing around in her stomach and every inch of her tingles. That feeling alone makes up for any and all of the bad things that are bound to happen.

"Rach, look." he murmurs after what she's sure has been at least thirty minutes of comfortable silence. She looks up just as a flash of white jets across the sky. _A shooting star. _

"Make a wish." he whispers in her ear and when she squeezes her eyes shut she wishes for Broadway. And then she wishes that she could stay in this moment forever with him.

When he kisses her a second later, she realizes she doesn't need to stay in this moment. He's finally hers and they have all the time in the world to revel in this feeling.

They have all the time in the world and this is just the beginning.

– – – – – –

_I feel in love, in love with you suddenly. Now there's no place else I could be but here in your __arms._

* * *

And to end! A little something I said to Rachel that basically explains my whole thought process while writing this:

_I'm gonna try and whip this one shot into the best shape of its life, it'll regret the day it tried to disobey me! -Nicole  
_

**Song: Here in Your Arms by Hellogoodbye.**

(Reviews make my life, I'm not even joking.)


End file.
